how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You ate ashes out of my bong
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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