how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
this hospital has no fireball
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
