We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Sext me about skeletons
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
