i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
