haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Too much gin, very little bucket
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
