Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize