Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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