dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
