do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
