She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
