she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
