Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need to calm my uterus...
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