Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize