where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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