I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
