Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
