I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
