Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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