This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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