Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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