White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
