I didn't shave. On purpose
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
