I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize