We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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