idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
