She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
bring money and cleavage
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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