how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
