I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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