I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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