You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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