I think my vagina is haunted
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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