what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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