he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
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Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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