I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
