This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
