is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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