apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
