I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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