the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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