matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
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Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
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yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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