I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
