He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
this hospital has no fireball
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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