tell your sister to shave her snatch
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
