People in love make me want to vomit
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize