youre lurking in front of me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
