even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
