My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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