I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize