nut hugger
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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