the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
