I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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