whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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