Duck Duck Cougar?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
