Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
