The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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