mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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