idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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