Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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