just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
