yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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