I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it's like iHOP with fire
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
