And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize