when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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